Cancerversary #3

Tomorrow is my cancerversary.  3 years and going strong!  Whatever that means. Ha.

I wanted to write about soooo many things over the last few weeks, but life has been BUSY!  And now I don’t even know where to start!  I started taking the chemo pill Xeloda (same I had been on before) + Celebrex + Avastin.  I am almost through my first 3-week cycle.  With this pill, I take it for two weeks, and then have an “off” week.  I still have to get an IV for Avastin, but it isn’t all day and I don’t have to take the snack pack home.

You should have seen me after that first “treatment” of Avastin.  I left the hospital WITHOUT the chemo snack pack, and I literally was skipping down the sidewalk and smiling creepily at everyone.  I didn’t even care.

I don’t know if I have stopped smiling since.  In Rockie’s (FD friend) perfect words: I hit the ground running.

The pill makes me feel so FREEEEE!!!

And since then, life has been craaaazy, but in a normal-busy-we-are-living kind of way.  We’ve done lots of fall-fun stuff, like festivals and what-not.

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Xander and I drove up to Boston to see my friend Rachel and her little guy Hunter. AND, we got to meet up with my Spain buddy Marcus and my First Descents friend, Rockie!  Excitement bubbles all around.  Xander and I have gone to Boston in October for 3 years on a row now, and it is wonderful every time. (Although I did miss you, Simmy.)

And of, course, I have been busting my butt planning for “Be Younique at Benigna’s”, my fundraiser event on Sunday!  Here’s the flyer, created by the marvelous Kristen Good, who also blogs here.

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In the midst of all of that, I have been pondering many, many things.  Like that whole “hit the ground running” thing.  It is so very true.  When I have a scan, I deal with the results and then I hit the GO button.  I try to fit every ounce of living that I can into three months (or until my next scan).  It is a crazy way to live, maybe, but that is how it has to be.  I plan things, I do things, I see people.  I am exhausted, but living life is exhausting, am I right?

Also, I think everyone deals with some kind of “cancer”.  I don’t mean medical cancer or a family member who has cancer.  I mean “something”.  Everyone has a “something” that causes anxiety, heart-break, pain, passion.  Everyone is working toward some goal or trying to overcome some kind of hardship in life.  It could be financial difficulties, the loss of an unborn child, abuse.  Honestly, since I’ve had cancer, I feel like I can weirdly connect with almost all of my close friends regarding “the loss of something expected”, whether or not that “something expected” was a life without cancer.

On and on go my ponderings.  So, I have been going around asking local businesses for food-type donations for my fundraiser.  I went to the Philly Pretzel Factory a couple weeks ago, and was explaining the fundraiser, telling the guy about my trip to Colorado to go rock climbing.  He says, “Oh, that’s pretty lucky!” And I say, “Yeah, all you have to do is have cancer!” and he gets all apologetic and uncomfortable.  And then I remember I can’t say things like that to everyone in the real world.  Poor guy.  (Really, I wasn’t at all offended, and I said it with excitement and a smile in my typical “Maria” fashion.)

They donated a party tray.

And on and on and on.  I really can’t remember what else I wanted to write, but I have been thinking thinking thinking these days.

I do know that 3 years out from my diagnosis is kind of a big deal.  It’s strange…I don’t feel sad about this “cancerversary”…I kind of feel like a rock star.  Like cancer doesn’t control me, even though it has become an unwelcomed  and perpetual part of my life.  I’m proud of myself for kicking ass at cancer.  Ha.  Whatever that means 🙂

 

 

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