I’m sitting here, post chemo-disconnect, pondering the last couple of weeks. Two weeks ago, I felt like crap – thanks to Lynparza – and was a ball of anxiety with the thought of yet another treatment decision. One week ago, I was laughing and playing and enjoying some precious moments with my family and friends in the Outer Banks. And today, I wrapped up another round of chemo. It was neither great nor horrible.
Life is weird.
I’ve been thinking a lot about family lately. I’ve never had a huge family, and yet I’ve always longed for one. I sometimes get jealous of big families, of my friends having babies that I can never have, of people getting together for extended-family parties and vacations and fun.
But honestly, I have no reason to feel that way. This sweet little family I have is perfectly imperfect.
And my extended family – not necessarily always blood-related – is more than I could have ever asked for. Last week, my heart and mind and body was rejuvinated by conversations with good friends, laughter, yoga, sunshine, and yummy food. What would I ever do without all of you?? And I love love love that we are raising our babies together. And coming home from vacation to an entourage of help from my mom and others – gah. My heart is full.
Also, my “family” has already filled up chemo buddy slots through August. So, guys – thanks. Thanks for lightening up this load I carry. I’ve said it before, and I will say it a million times more – I would be nothing without you.